Never go to this guy for a straight-edge shave.
Tower of Evil (1972) features plastic sets, an embarrassed Scottish sailor, some aimlessly vicious chatter about husbands, a bunch of interchangeable characters, a madman, and the God Baal and his acolyte, Teratoma. If you can find the theatrical release, you’ll apparently get some gratuitous nudity, but our TV version had a little blurring and some cuts. Not that it matters.
Mix liberally with bourbon (representing the American detective who wanders about aimlessly brandishing his pistol), and then set aside for a good walk around the lake.
Forget where you’ve put it until it starts stinking, and then you’ll have achieved an aesthetic plateau worthy of that neighbor who never did anything with their life. Don’t bother to watch, unless your bucket list includes something about seeing Baal giving everyone the finger.
