Red One (2024) is one of those movies that, set in a land of fantasy in which there’s already a point – Be Good, or it’s a lump of coal for you! – it must struggle to find a way to make some version of that point in a memorable way, like all such movies. This isn’t a Christmas movie, so don’t compare it to the superb It’s a Wonderful Life (1946), because that uses Christmas as a contrasting background. Instead, we’re talking about the operationality of Christmas, or Who’s this dude delivering presents worldwide, and why? Some of that is clever, and some of it is even referenced as key elements of the denouement. That’s certainly good.
Thus the examination of the technology presented to us. But there’s also the butting in of other creatures from related myths, with whom old Nick has some sort of relationships. What’s going on there?
And then there’s Cal Drift, head of E.L.F., who would ordinarily fill the screen.
But none of these are the main character; that would be Jack O’Malley, morality-free hacker who occasionally talks to his young son, and who just happens to be the key tool in finding a way into Nick’s fortress – but that also makes him the key for tracing the people who have grabbed the big man.
The problem is that O’Malley is painfully predictable in his reactions. Got a ten foot tall monster, relishing the chance to have a bit of its own revenge, staring down at you? Running around shrieking in disbelief was obvious. Too obvious.
A bit of balls would have been better. In fact, I began composing dialog in my head for each situation, trying to come up with the sort of dialog a hacker nicknamed The Wolf might try, no matter how close to wetting their pants they might be. A bit of panache, please?
The other characters are better, although the aforementioned Cal Drift comes off as a bit stiff. Still, for a possibly non-human character, that’s believable – but mostly boring.
If you need to shred a couple of hours, you could do worse. I’m sure it’s a lovely popcorn movie, although I didn’t go that route. It’s a bit interesting, and if you enjoy Dwayne Johnson’s movie career, this should be on your list.
But I fear it’s not really memorable, no matter how hard it tries to reinforce its version of the Christmas message.
