Belated Movie Reviews

As your day goes from bad to worse. I’ll bet the owner of the arm has a final in quantum physics later today, too.

It’s the old slice ‘n dice story in Sea Beast (2008). A deep sea fishing boat returns home after surviving a storm which took one of its crewmen, not realizing that something has trailed it back to port. Once arrived, the bodies quickly begin mysteriously piling up. Or disappearing. Depending on how hungry el Monster happens to be at the moment.

Why is it mysterious? Because our monster is invisible! Not a relation to this ridiculous critter, but its own special power is a paralyzing venom it can spit, leaving prey more or less looking like an audience member, eyes wide in horror, drooling a bit, hoping this all comes to an end quickly, but without that wide-mouthed CHOMP

Think of parasitic wasps. You know, those little insects that turn spiders into paralyzed meals for their offspring. Those things that convinced Darwin there is no God.

In any case, there’s a lot of running around, use of ineffective guns, a little bit of cleverness, and an inventive use of a cigarillo. Sheesh, I hadn’t seen one of those in decades.

The acting was fairly earnest. The special effects, the plot, the dialog: mediocre at best, embarrassing mostly. Yeah, avoid, avoid, avoid.

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About Hue White

Former BBS operator; software engineer; cat lackey.

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