A Classic Retort

If you’re confronted by someone yammering about how the people should be allowed to vote Trump out of office, or that impeachment is electoral theft, here’s how I hope to use my wits at that time:

Sir, let me introduce you to Ted Bundy. Are you aware of who he is? [If not, a simple explanation that he is one of the most damaging and notorious serial killers to have ever lived.]

Now, sir, it is my contention that the United States committed a grievous offense against God and Country when it executed Mr. Bundy on January 24, 1989. [The response may be variable: outrage at the implied comparison with President Trump through cool contempt at your perceived softness on crime; I think it best to dismiss their response with a simple You are wrong, sir, in your assumptions!]

For it is God’s decision, and His decision alone, when to take a human life, is it not, for he created us, and has the exclusive right when to take us from this life! [At this point, there may be sputtering, or perhaps a cool disagreement. This is good. And, yes, an agnostic, I’m mildly amused at the thought of myself in this role.]

You disagree, sir? Then explain to me, sir, in societal terms, why you believe it was right to imprison and even execute Mr. Bundy?

[At this juncture, some response along the lines of killing is bad will come out; it’ll be your duty to steer and generalize it into terms of societal damage.]

The game is up for your interlocutor.

Then, sir, if you insist I accept your reasoning for the extreme punishment of Mr. Bundy, then I shall employ it to point out that those who voted for the impeachment, conviction, and permanent removal of President Trump from all public offices have the exact same concerns – damage to our society, to our country, and, beyond Bundy, to our country’s reputation, and, in fact, to democracy itself. Law is not a game, as you have taught me here; it is, at its best, a tool for furthering our prosperity, by removing those elements who work against our stability and prosperity. The Constitution gives Congress the explicit right to make their case; to rail against them for trying to ‘steal’ an election is to deny that they have very real concerns about the country in which they live, which is to say, to deny their very Americanism. The Republicans who failed their duty, in my opinion, have openly admitted President Trump’s guilt; their fear guided them, whether of personal retribution, or failure of reelection. I thank you for teaching me this lesson.

The snark may be a bit much. Customize to fit.

Bookmark the permalink.

About Hue White

Former BBS operator; software engineer; cat lackey.

Comments are closed.