Belated Movie Reviews

It’s cousin saving time. Too bad he’s a barbaric wretch.

Once again, the Japanese are plagued with monsters in War Of the Gargantuas (1966), and, given the aplomb with which the Japanese defense officials face these situations, you’d think they’d have developed better strategies for dealing with creatures standing more than 100 feet tall. Perhaps they should hide all their cities underground?


Note stuff coming out of neck. Reeks aesthetically.

But this time around there’s a Western element, as some of the biological cells of … (wait for it) … Frankenstein … not Frankenstein’s Monster, which is different … are to blame for the eponymous characters. (I’m visualizing the costume crew working on labcoats for 100 foot tall scientists.) Why? Uh, it had something to do with cell replication, and, oh, I don’t know. The scientific team, lead by the American doctor (Russ Tamblyn) and including the attractive Japanese lady, were remarkably casual about the whole thing. It’s been maybe 30 years since I’ve read Frankenstein, and I don’t recall Shelley’s genesis of the Monster, except he was an amazing physical specimen, not the riveted together hunk of junk of the cinematic versions.

Let’s count up the monsters, shall we? First, there’s the giant octopus that has the cargo ship in its tentacles during the opening storm. Then there’s Gargantua #1, a big, hairy humanoid, which takes exception to the giant octopus harassing the ship, and chases it away. Hurrah for the ship’s crew, yes!

Oh, wait, this is more of a tantrum over a toy, isn’t it? And, not only does the ship go down, most of the crew becomes … dinner.

An intervening moment while the scientific team puzzles over what appears to be their “Frankenstein,” which is now huge and fond of human meat, as #1 ventures on land and ravages an airport, including a fairly shocking consumption of one of the would-be passengers. The Frankenstein they had been studying was peaceful and friendly, goldarnit!

But when the Japanese trap the Gargantua in an electrified river, all seems to be coming to a happy ending, until #2 Gargantua appears (that would be 3 outsized critters) and rescues #1. Equally huge, and in fact identical to #1 except in coloration, the two hide out in the forest and river, and during this Gargantua Golden Era one of the search teams ventures too near a cliff and the aforementioned Japanese lady scientist nearly tumbles to her death, only to be saved by #2, which, interestingly enough, hurts himself doing so. She is returned to the American scientist, but when #2 returns to tend to wounded #1, he (honestly, they appear to be sexless) discovers … chewed up human clothing. Extended pantomime suggests a line has been crossed, and soon enough the two are rolling (#2 with a limp) across Tokyo in a Gargantua death match, and eventually into Tokyo Bay they tumble, all the while the Japanese worrying about them shedding more skin cells that might turn into more Gargantua Frankensteins, which has comedic possibility written all over it in purple ink.

In a fittingly huge bit of deus ex machina, an underwater volcano in Tokyo Bay chooses this moment to erupt and build itself into an island, allegedly consuming the battling Gargantua in the process. Yep, there was a nudge-nudge wink-wink from the cast on not finding any corpses to, ah, study.

Yeah, just why did I waste all these bytes on this review, anyways? If there’s a thematic exploration in here, I missed it. Maybe it had something to do with titanic mistakes requiring titanic acts of God to cover up? Seems unlikely.

Make up your own. And, remember, having read this review, you needn’t actually watch the movie. Unless you enjoy watching models of military vehicles and cities being destroyed. Although I must admit to chortling when the Gargantua were running through various towns and cities. You’d expect each step to be its own earthquake, local humans jolting up and down in rhythm to their footsteps….

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About Hue White

Former BBS operator; software engineer; cat lackey.

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