Weak tea, indeed.
Begin with some mood-altering chemicals. Once you’re blurry, you may be ready for The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu (2009), a fairly awful rendition of the goofy nerds vs the minions of the Most Evil Creature Ever Spawned scenario. When asked to guard the relic of Cthulhu, Jeff must discard his job at Sqryly Gifts and put forth his manly strength to save the world.
Make sure you drink at every instance of violence. It’ll help you get through this sub-par effort.
And don’t forget to mourn Gary. Fish-bait Gary. I wonder how the audition for his role went.
By the end, if it all works out, you shouldn’t remember a thing.
