Belated Movie Reviews

A Vampire preparing to perform the classic Kangaroo-Hop, famous in vampire lore for destroying their knee cartilage and enforcing a rough lifetime on vampires, after which they lay on the ground, squalling about the unfairness of life and their hunger for human blood, while small children taunt them with ketchup packets, and dingoes drag them out into the bush for feasts of their own.

Vampire Cleanup Department (2017) is a listless vampire-takeoff movie, using the device that, following a vampire feast, a cleanup must occur or the public may lose its lunch. Sometimes, too, the vampire is hanging around, and must “cleaned up” as well.

Sounds innovative? Or just a bit limp?

The problem may be that it’s filled with Chinese stereotypes, which may not be surprising for a Hong Kong-made movie, but is still irritating. Yes, even for ignorant Americans such as myself.

So, after a lot of dubious plot perturbations, a tragedy occurs, and then is maybe reversed, and we’re not sure why except the lead actor is sort of cute.

I was not impressed. You, on the other hand, may enjoy it. Maybe I was in a bad mood – the post-surgical blues, as it were.

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About Hue White

Former BBS operator; software engineer; cat lackey.

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