What? Not seasoned him, yet?
Eat Locals (2017) echos a theme often associated with vampires throughout its structure, but, sadly, doesn’t quite have the follow-through to make it all work. That theme is Things are not what they appear to be: The Count is not nobility, but a monster is its most usual instance.
The nobility of the vampires in England, eight in number, are assembling for their semi-centennial meeting at a farmhouse in the English countryside, from the ancient Lord to the knitting grandmother to those of a lustier mien. One has brought a guest, a human. Why? He’s not dinner, it turns out, but a nominee to take the place of a vampire lord who has been exceeding his hunting quota.
Except he’s not willing to accept the honor, which is a woeful choice, for the existence of vampires must remain a secret, especially in this era of cameras, computers, and what-not. A leave-taking is not acceptable, except feet first, as the old saying goes.
Except that isn’t working, either. Is there something special about this gibbering fool of a hormone driven chap, or is he just damn lucky?
Meanwhile, that secret I mentioned? It turns out a special Catholic military unit is in on the secret, and they’re out to eliminate the vampire group. Rival ambitions or something, I’m sure. But what’s up with the group leader, and, for that matter, his superior, direct from the Pope, driven by hate and … dude, why’s there a scratch on your neck?
And your eyes are glowing…
From the overlord who doesn’t actually eat humans, to their farmhouse hosts, everyone seems to have a secret. However, it just doesn’t quite come together. I laughed a number of times, yet, at the end, it all felt a bit empty. It was fun, but missing something. Oh, are those angels?
Perhaps a finale on the theme, how we all have our secrets, vampire or human, and sometimes we’re the worse for it. That might have helped. Or not.
