The Australian Associated Press (AAP) is facing an existential threat:

It may not be the lost city of Atlantis, but a social media post questions whether another island – Australia – is also the product of fiction.

The Facebook post from June 3, shared to a group in which users debate flat Earth theories, features an aerial image of Australia with a red “FAKE” stamped over the picture. The text underneath reads: “Australia isn’t real. The people are either paid actors or robots.”

It goes on to claim, “It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again.”

The post continues by claiming that “plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians”.

The post by a user whose profile states they live in the Netherlands had attracted more than 670 comments, 100 reactions and 60 shares at the time of writing. There is also a Facebook group dedicated to the theme.

I didn’t much care for the AAP rebuttal. I mean, dry recitation of fakeable facts? C’mon!

I think they should offer free air fare and free shipping to a representative of the group to Australia. Why the shipping? Because the doubting Thomases will be required to provide a high altitude, human bearing balloon, either hot air or helium, that can reach a high enough altitude to, well, survey the continent of Australia.

They should also provide a free sleeping mask to the representative so that they do not have to damage their frail sensibilities at seeing themselves flown to a non-existent continent.

The AAP should ship them to a suitable launch point for the balloon, provide them with a camera if they failed to bring one of their own, and then …

UP THEY GO!!!

At some point – hopefully before the air becomes too thin to breath, but perhaps they can wear a sealed suit with an oxygen tank – they’ll be able to discern the entire continent of Australia, take a picture or three of it, notice how it matches up with those damn artists’ renderings, and add to their cognitive dissonance load. I have thoughtfully provided a topological map for their use, above. Sadly, the colors may not be precise matches.

I do, however, draw the line at providing them an ax to use on any handy Australians they might interact with. After all, if they really aren’t robots, then it’s murder.