Naked? Sure. Erotic? Uh-uh. And what the hell happened to the mongoose he sent in first? I thought it would WIN the battle with the snake! Not become a bloody corpse!
It was a strange marriage, that of a moderately well-plotted and acted movie, and its wretched special-effects. Nor did they appear to embrace each other in The Lair Of The White Worm (1988). This is the story of a divine horror from a thousand years ago, its devoted, immortal attendant, and the people of today’s Ireland who are caught in its foul legend. It also reaches for eroticism, but I fear that I, at least, found those scenes supposedly erotic were ridiculous, repulsive, or so completely incoherent that it was just a question of checking my watch to see how much more time was left in this doubtful horror, wondering where this was going, and how the actors possibly kept a straight face during some of the more ludicrous scenes.
And, sadly, the last scene is sorely predictable, which is really too bad because it embodies a contradiction as it was played out in this story. If the storytellers had been thinking, however, they could have made it far more interesting than it turned out. Yes, sure, the nurse gave you the wrong test tube and you merely injected a saline solution, rather than the anti-venom you thought you were injecting into yourself. But, think – despite being bitten, you didn’t become a lascivious zombie! The strength of placebos! No, you don’t have to go mad!
You destroyed a divinity and overcame its holy venom! What can it mean? Hahahahahahaha!
So, anyways, despite the competent acting and OK plotting, the special effects were wretched and the storytellers didn’t really go organic. Too bad. But, yeah, that really was Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi.
