If you enjoy being gulled, or
If you enjoy watching the determined virgin being eaten by a monster, or
If you like your monsters to have lecherous faces, or
If you thought The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001) was charming, or
If you think parody paint applied thickly with a palette knife is the bee’s knees, or
If you think watching locally made movies are just another facet of being a locavore, or
If you think – OK, OK, I’ll stop! Put down that pheromone laden butterfly net!
“Wait, what?”
ANYWAYS, answering Yes! (preferably with a soprano shriek) to any two of the above should probably qualify you for watching the made-in-Wisconsin movie The Giant Spider (2017). Starting off like a 1954 monster movie (yep, I was gulled), a horrid spider monster emerges from radioactive caves to harass the local rural population, which cheerfully harasses it right back. But when it begins making meals out of those who choose the freeze & scream option when presented with the fight or flight response, local professors at Phantom Lake University adopt that grim look and help the military and a representative of the free press lure the beastly, furry, cuddly, oh so so cute MAKE IT STOP critter to its inevitably wretched doom.
A new model train engine. Runs on human juices. Quite efficient.
Not entirely watchable if I’m being honest, as some of the parody is on the awkward side, but it lends itself quite well to straight lines and other forms of parody2 (which can be read as parody parody, parody parodied, parody squared, square parody, or advanced parody for those aspiring to advanced degrees in parody science). I had to admire the two dudes allowin’ that, yep, that’s a big spider.
I laughed more than once, and the credits were fun, too. Hell, the credit music is still echoing through my head.
And I noticed they even credited a Twin Cities movie theater, The Heights, which makes me wonder why. I used to know the guy who was rehabbing the pipe organ at that venue, but now I can’t even remember his name.
