Hey, buddy, ya wanna cigarette? It’s our best-selling export!
A space explorer returning to Earth begs to be destroyed by Mission Control because the fumes of the planet he and his companions were exploring have penetrated their suits and burned them – and Mission Control grants his request. Exciting start, isn’t it?
Too bad. Rather than investigate these mysterious fumes, we’ll just look for another planet to colonize, stumble into an alien space station or maybe rocket ship, a first in either case, have a rough & tumble with the alien crewman, resulting in his death, blow up the alien ship, and then encounter meteorites while near the Triangulum Galaxy (yeah, that rocket ship evidently goes really really fast) which forces us off course into an unknown planet with an ocean full of giant crabs and hostile fishy humanoids!
Got that?
Such is the plot of Space Probe Taurus (1965). Throw in a distracting romance between the captain and the female scientist, a lot of sexism, meaningless Mission Control scenes, truly wretched special effects, and some utterly preposterous notions of science and the Universe, and this is a total waste of time.
Oh, the acting was OK.
And it’s available online. Oh, lordy.
