Even the monster used an assumed name for this flick.
Battle For The Lost Planet (1986, aka Galaxy) follows the life of Harry Dent, a thief. It begins with his theft of a computer tape, and, as he is pursued by company security forces, he steals a space shuttle.
Heckuva thief. Security, well, what to say?
As he takes off, on the ship’s radio he hears the beginnings of an invasion from space, and his ship is damaged. Does it crash back on Earth? Whoa, Nelly, it doesn’t! Instead, it breaks out of Earth orbit and enters a solar orbit, and for the next five years Harry is out of circulation.
Upon his return, he manages to land safely, but the world has changed. Voiceless people roam the land, but just as Harry is about to lose his life, a lady perhaps best described as a limp Amazon rescues him from a tight situation. Eventually, he learns from her and her companion (it’s not worth naming him, he dies soon enough) that Earth is now dominated by the invaders, who pass the time by torturing humans and snorting through their little piggy snouts. And there may be a super-weapon 40 miles away, but how to get there?
Oh, must I go on? There’s the warlord, who also knows about the super-weapon but thinks mankind should not have a weapon like that. There’s the bad bad BAD special-effects, especially the stop-action monster that interrupts the bad sex scene, the bad dialog, the BAD audio, the bad cinematography, the bad plot, bad costumes, bad stage combat …
Or, as my Arts Editor commented before she abandoned ship, it’s a junior high school film project gone wrong.
BAD BAD BAD
Bad Bad Bad
bad bad bad
