She has him in a headlock! Oh, but those eyes!
It’s all about … ummm … apparently, inter-species sex in the fairly incoherent Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II (1993). An egg and the remains of another are discovered on an island used as a nuclear waste dumping ground, and as the research team is examining them, Rodan (but pronounced “Radon“, as in the radioactive gas common in many basements, and a known health hazard, which may be some sort of subtle pun) appears and messes with them; then Godzilla appears, and in the tussle that follows, the team escapes in their helicopter, lugging along the intact egg.
Meantime, a team is working on Mechagodzilla, assembled from various bits of other monsters, along with a generous helping of technology, oh, goodness, this is really dreary to write about.. Deep breath.. is being perfected. Aaaaaaaand … over at the lab, a cohort of telepathic girls begin singing to the egg, and it hatches into a vegetarian baby Godzilla.
Yep. Vegetarian. Although those ain’t molars. But the eyes, so cute.
In any case, Godzilla appears nearby and Mechagodzilla sallies forth to do battle. After bouncing around for a while, Mechagodzilla burns out and Godzilla, neglecting to stomp his opponent summarily into the ground, wanders off while Baby Godzilla’s eyes glow red.
Baby Godzilla is then packaged up and used as bait for Godzilla, luring him to some uninhabited islands for a finishing fight with Mechagodzilla, but Rodan appears, torches the helicopter, and snatches the Baby Godzilla. Mechagodzilla intercepts and messes up Rodan but good, just as Godzilla approaches. A battle royale ends in Godzilla being left a quadriplegic, and thus he’s given ten minutes to recover per the rules of … what, this isn’t a sanctioned bout?
OK, so the Japanese (one named Johnson, just for laughs) are getting all set to turn Godzilla into a million cheeseburgers, when Rodan rises from the dead, flings itself (I hesitate to even guess gender) on top of Godzilla, turns bright red and blends with Godzilla, healing his second brain (sure, I didn’t mention it, you know all dinosaurs had second brains, right?), and Godzilla bounces to his feet for a knockout swing at Mechagodzilla. Victory achieved, he and Baby Godzilla wade off into the ocean while the General in charge tells us that Baby Godzilla is the offspring of Godzilla and Rodan.
The visuals of that mating leave me dazed and confused.
Much like this awful movie.
If you have to see this, I hope you’re a Godzilla completist, because there’s no other reason to subject yourself to this rot. Unless you like making jokes about monsters named ‘Radon’.
