{"id":33553,"date":"2021-07-06T19:23:53","date_gmt":"2021-07-07T00:23:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/?p=33553"},"modified":"2021-07-06T19:23:53","modified_gmt":"2021-07-07T00:23:53","slug":"belated-movie-reviews-673","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/2021\/07\/06\/belated-movie-reviews-673\/","title":{"rendered":"Belated Movie Reviews"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Dammit, I hate Powerpoints!<\/p><\/div>\n

Horrible choice of narration? Check<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Way too much blood? Check<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Turned vampirism from ghoulish horror into a frickin’ disease? Check<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Plot holes the size of swamp rats? Check<\/em>.<\/p>\n

A movie that really sucks?<\/p>\n

Not so much.<\/p>\n

Oh, Netherbeasts Incorporated<\/strong><\/em><\/a> (2007) isn’t a life-changing tale of monsters and their annoying health problems, not at all. Nor is the above list of defects hardly complete, I’m sure. But there’s a certain quirkiness to this story of what happens when the element that’s keeping a band of vampires alive is stolen, and eventually that quirkiness becomes charm in a minor key. The actors play it as straight as they can, and so the characters’ reactions to the diseases that can afflict their long-lived bodies, which, quite candidly, can wear out, is convincing.<\/p>\n

Which is to say, it’s not overwrought. It’s just part of the litany of daily problems facing the office-dwelling people eaters who are being led by the slick Turner.<\/p>\n

Who may be mad. After all, he did just stake Mike. Even Mike being an asshole isn’t a good enough excuse to just stake a guy. Right?<\/p>\n

Right?<\/p>\n

If you like quirkiness, or vampires who broke the mold when they were cast, Netherbeasts Incorporated<\/strong><\/em> may be for you. Just remember, you have to be patient.<\/p>\n

And admiring of the First Lifers in their midst.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Horrible choice of narration? Check. Way too much blood? Check. Turned vampirism from ghoulish horror into a frickin’ disease? Check. Plot holes the size of swamp rats? Check. A movie that really sucks? Not so much. Oh, Netherbeasts Incorporated (2007) isn’t a life-changing tale of monsters and their annoying health \u2026 Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33553","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33553"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33553\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33580,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33553\/revisions\/33580"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33553"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33553"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}