{"id":28211,"date":"2020-04-04T11:40:30","date_gmt":"2020-04-04T16:40:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/?p=28211"},"modified":"2020-04-04T11:40:30","modified_gmt":"2020-04-04T16:40:30","slug":"twisted-morning-ravings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/2020\/04\/04\/twisted-morning-ravings\/","title":{"rendered":"Twisted Morning Ravings"},"content":{"rendered":"

As I made breakfast, I filled my glass with the last of the 2% milk, glance at the wife, shook the empty container, and said, “This is OK, yes?<\/p>\n

“Oh, yes, now we can go back to the whole milk!”<\/p>\n

Stare at the 2% container. Pause. “Oh, that’s right. We cut this half and half with bourbon, didn’t we? Sure made the Raisin Bran tasty.”<\/p>\n

A gagging sound was recorded by the FBI<\/strong><\/em> recorders at this time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I made breakfast, I filled my glass with the last of the 2% milk, glance at the wife, shook the empty container, and said, “This is OK, yes? “Oh, yes, now we can go back to the whole milk!” Stare at the 2% container. Pause. “Oh, that’s right. We \u2026 Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28211","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28211","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28211"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28211\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28212,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28211\/revisions\/28212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28211"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28211"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}