{"id":27538,"date":"2020-02-02T18:15:21","date_gmt":"2020-02-03T00:15:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/?p=27538"},"modified":"2020-02-02T18:15:21","modified_gmt":"2020-02-03T00:15:21","slug":"belated-movie-reviews-542","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/2020\/02\/02\/belated-movie-reviews-542\/","title":{"rendered":"Belated Movie Reviews"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_27546\" style=\"width: 345px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/velocipastor-800x416-1.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-27546\" class=\"wp-image-27546\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/velocipastor-800x416-1.jpg?resize=335%2C174&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"335\" height=\"174\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/velocipastor-800x416-1.jpg?w=800&amp;ssl=1 800w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/velocipastor-800x416-1.jpg?resize=300%2C156&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/velocipastor-800x416-1.jpg?resize=768%2C399&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/velocipastor-800x416-1.jpg?resize=250%2C130&amp;ssl=1 250w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/velocipastor-800x416-1.jpg?resize=150%2C78&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-27546\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><em>The tonsillectomy was hellacious. No sedatives.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<p>It&#8217;s amateur hour with <em><strong>The VelociPedal<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>VelociPater<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>VelociPatter<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>VelociPlaster<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>No, no, no. <strong><em>VelociPasta<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>That ain&#8217;t right, either.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_VelociPastor\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><em><strong>The VelociPastor<\/strong><\/em><\/a> (2017). Oh, yes, that&#8217;s it. Ooooooh, was that it. Clawed my eyes out, right? They must have borrowed a costume from this race:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"VIDEO: Dinosaurs take the track in viral T-Rex races\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/h59lUTbuE1I?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s supposed to be funny, but we were watching in a sort of horrified fascination, wondering just how much worse it was going to get.<\/p>\n<p>It did. A clumsy non-velociraptor velociraptor vs a ninja squad. Awwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeawwwwwwweeee.<\/p>\n<p>And that&#8217;s all I want to say, or remember, of this one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s amateur hour with The VelociPedal. VelociPater. VelociPatter. VelociPlaster. No, no, no. VelociPasta. That ain&#8217;t right, either. The VelociPastor (2017). Oh, yes, that&#8217;s it. Ooooooh, was that it. Clawed my eyes out, right? They must have borrowed a costume from this race: It&#8217;s supposed to be funny, but we were \u2026 <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/2020\/02\/02\/belated-movie-reviews-542\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27538","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27538"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27538\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27547,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27538\/revisions\/27547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27538"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27538"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27538"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}