{"id":15128,"date":"2018-04-04T08:23:21","date_gmt":"2018-04-04T13:23:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/?p=15128"},"modified":"2018-04-04T08:23:21","modified_gmt":"2018-04-04T13:23:21","slug":"belated-movie-reviews-328","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/2018\/04\/04\/belated-movie-reviews-328\/","title":{"rendered":"Belated Movie Reviews"},"content":{"rendered":"
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These are the restrained hats.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

The vampires are out to get you, if you live near their castle and are a villager, or so we’re lead to believe in\u00a0Twins of Evil<\/strong><\/em><\/a> (1971). This is a dull story of that village near the castle, and the lives and deaths of the various villagers. First, there’s the painfully devout Brotherhood, led by Gustav, who have a hobby of capturing the local social outcasts, subjecting them to a quick trial as to whether they’re evil or not, and burning the losers. Up in the castle lives a vampire or two, who occasionally take victims from the village.<\/p>\n

Into this village come a set of orphaned twins, lasses visiting their Uncle Gustav, who distinguish themselves with a couple of pairs of gorgeous hats, and cleavage nearly as magnificent as their hats (the uncut version, from what I’m seeing on the Internet, is considerably gamier).\u00a0But one of them is predisposed to evil, and when the Count living in the castle puts the bite on her, she doesn’t die, but transforms into a vampire. She wreaks a little havoc over the next few days, but eventually the old bloodlust lures her into putting the bite on a member of the Brotherhood while he is on his way to a meeting, and she’s captured with blood on her chin, as it were.<\/p>\n

Well, it was probably a soul-crushing meeting in any case.<\/p>\n

She’s imprisoned, and, in case you didn’t guess, while the cats are away, because these meetings are never cancelled, the vampires shall play, in this case substituting the innocent twin for the vampire twin. We come close to burning the innocent one (and Anton, the handsome choirmaster and local atheist, nearly gets laid, but that would have ended badly), but disaster is averted, and the vampires are tracked down and staked.<\/p>\n

Yeah, it was dull. The technicals were fine, but the story was numbing. Perhaps if I’d viewed an uncut-for-TV version … but I doubt it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The vampires are out to get you, if you live near their castle and are a villager, or so we’re lead to believe in\u00a0Twins of Evil (1971). This is a dull story of that village near the castle, and the lives and deaths of the various villagers. First, there’s the \u2026 Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15128"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15128\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15140,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15128\/revisions\/15140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}