{"id":11346,"date":"2017-08-31T08:12:47","date_gmt":"2017-08-31T13:12:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/?p=11346"},"modified":"2017-08-31T08:12:47","modified_gmt":"2017-08-31T13:12:47","slug":"belated-movie-reviews-230","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/2017\/08\/31\/belated-movie-reviews-230\/","title":{"rendered":"Belated Movie Reviews"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"width: 410px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.hysteria-lives.co.uk\/hysterialives\/graphicsl\/towerofevil2.jpg?resize=400%2C217\" width=\"400\" height=\"217\" \/><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Never go to this guy for a straight-edge shave.<\/p><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Tower_of_Evil\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em><strong>Tower of Evil<\/strong><\/em><\/a> (1972) features plastic sets, an embarrassed Scottish sailor, some aimlessly vicious chatter about husbands, a bunch of interchangeable characters, a madman, and the God Baal and his acolyte, Teratoma. If you can find the theatrical release, you&#8217;ll apparently get some gratuitous nudity, but our TV version had a little blurring and some cuts. Not that it matters.<\/p>\n<p>Mix liberally with bourbon (representing the American detective who wanders about aimlessly brandishing his pistol), and then set aside for a good walk around the lake.<\/p>\n<p>Forget where you&#8217;ve put it until it starts stinking, and then you&#8217;ll have achieved an aesthetic plateau worthy of that neighbor who never did anything with their life. Don&#8217;t bother to watch, unless your bucket list includes something about seeing Baal giving everyone the finger.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tower of Evil (1972) features plastic sets, an embarrassed Scottish sailor, some aimlessly vicious chatter about husbands, a bunch of interchangeable characters, a madman, and the God Baal and his acolyte, Teratoma. If you can find the theatrical release, you&#8217;ll apparently get some gratuitous nudity, but our TV version had \u2026 <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/2017\/08\/31\/belated-movie-reviews-230\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11346","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11346"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11346\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11375,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11346\/revisions\/11375"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/huewhite.com\/umb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}